“This wasn’t supposed to be part of my plan.” “I never planned for this to happen.” “This was never my plan.” These are the phrases spoken by 100% of the population at some point in time. We hear it from everyone. We say it ourselves. Because we think our plans are actually ours to make. But there not! Our plans are not ours to plan. They’re ours to live! And that’s a very important distinction to understand. We did not create the universe. We did not create ourselves. We did not create our bodies or any of the things needed to sustain them. We did not create our purpose. Our passion. Our dreams. We have created nothing of which we think we should control! And yet we have created everything [what we do each day, how we react to what happens to us, our mindset, our way of thinking] of which we think we have no control of! How do you know? How do you know you weren’t supposed to face adversity in life? How do you know you weren’t supposed to face failure? Disappointment? How do you know you were supposed to have a perfect life? That everyone should always agree with you? Like you? How do you know you were never supposed to get knocked down? Sometimes over and over again? To be challenged in life? How do you know everything was supposed to be handed to you? That you were supposed to succeed at everything in life? You don’t! Because our plans is not ours to plan! It’s only ours to live! And just maybe the very things you want are located inside of the very situations you think shouldn’t be a part of your life. But you will never ever discover them if you continue to wake up each day and put blame on God. On your surroundings. On the people around you. On your lack of growth. God did not fill your heart sadness or your mind with doubt. He did not make you ungrateful. He did not place you in a position of failure and tell you that was your permanent home! He did not make you unwilling. God never placed you in a comfort zone and told you to stay forever! He did not place you in an unhappy relationship and tell you you can’t make it better! You did that to yourself! We do these things to ourselves day after day. And then all of a sudden a lifetime has passed us by and we have so very little to show for it. We all have the most amazing ability to wake up each day and change our circumstances. To better our situations. We were given life! That is so incredible. Each day we live is so incredible. So if you can be wise enough to understand that. If you can be brave enough to truly chase your dreams. If you can be focused enough to unlock your happiness. Well, you might just become limitless. You might just end up changing the world for the better. And you might just end up living the life you dream of. __a.c.
Love has not perfection. You cannot control love. All you can do is offer it a place to stay. Make up a cozy warm bed, brew it fresh coffee in the morning. Tell it to have a good day. Expect it home for dinner. But no matter how many bolts you lock on that door, love doesn’t always stay. It slips through the cracks while you have your back turned. And most of the time, you can’t even ask it where it’s going. You sit at the table with two cups of coffee only to pour one down the drain. No trace of it other than your routine. Which suddenly becomes the enemy. Or maybe you wake up to a note on your pillow, inflated from the lack of weight on it. Be back soon-Love. Maybe it’s even left you its next location. You empty out your rain boots filled with tears and head in its new direction. Love has not perfection. It is not human. It does not know how to be one. It does not conform to our ways. It doesn’t know the night from the day. It will take the best of you and the worst of you and mash it all together until you don’t know what’s left of you. It will send you flowers ever Sunday for a year and then out of nowhere, disappear. Those same bright sunflower petals wilting to the ground. It will call you beautiful. And mean it. Even as its wiping away the tears it caused. Love has not perfection. It will give and take and push and pull. It will take the heart you’ve never seen inside of your chest and hold it in its hands- learning every vein, every artery, every ounce of oxygen it pumps with each sweet beat. It will give you purpose. Meaning. It will cause you to question every truth you’ve ever known. It will abandon you. It will welcome you. It will seem unfamiliar at times and the point of home at others. It will hurt you and heal you all with the same powers. Love has not perfection. But Love has God. And with that, everything is possible. __a.c.
People think there’s only a certain time frame you have to get it all figured out. Your twenties is when you’re supposed to get it all together. Graduate college, start a career, get married, buy a house, start your family, blah, blah, blah. And that’s a lot to pack into a ten year span in general, but especially when it’s packed into the wrong decade. And until you actually reach your twenties, you think it’s all possible. You think it’s all going to fall in place. Just. Like. That. Your dreams are set up to achieve it all in your twenties and you don’t even realize that yet. You think that’s plenty of time to have it all accomplished. Ten years. Sounds plausible, right? Then why do we have a world filled with twenty somethings feeling like failures? Why do we we have an ever increasing amount of depressed twenty somethings? Why doesn’t that plan actually work? Because we forget that life happens. We forget that people, even grown people need love and support. They need to be uplifted instead of judged and put down. Maybe you don’t graduate college in four years. Maybe it takes six. Maybe law school or the graduate program you chose was completely wrong for you. Maybe you don’t land a dream career or even a career at all right out of college. Relationships fall apart. Financial problems. Student loans. Not enough money for a house. Bills. A baby. Maybe you or someone you love gets sick. It happens. Stuff happens. Life happens. You see, a lot is going to happen in your twenties. The whole span of your twenties. Every single one of those years is going to soak up this world. It’s going to build you up, push you down. You are going to laugh and cry and smile so much. You are going to face decision after decision. And YOU have to make them. You are going to have plan after unexpected plan because it’s probably not going to pan out like it’s “supposed to.” Because it’s not supposed to pan out in one certain way! So much happens in your twenties and they are such crucial, important years of your life. You’re going to discover yourself in your twenties like you’ve never discovered yourself before. And you shouldn’t spend your twenties feeling rushed, or like a failure. You should spend them feeling amazed, impressed. Excited about the person you’re discovering yourself to be! You should spend them learning how to overcome a situation, not feeling like you fell behind a line. You should spend them getting to know yourself and the world around you. The people around you. You should let them transform you into a beautiful, kind, loving person. Because as challenging as they will be, your twenties are amazing, magical, struggling, beautiful years. And you will never get these twenty something years back. But if you live them right. If you love them right. The rest of your years will thank you for them. And so will the rest of the world. __a.c.
We have become a very verbally opinionated world. And that’s not the problem. We’re human. We think. We speak. Opinions are bound to be part of our everyday lives. The problem is WHAT we have become so opinionated on. The vast majority seems to only speak on the latest “trend.” And by the way, just because it’s trending doesn’t actually make it worthwhile. People are so opinionated on how someone was or wasn’t watching their kid at the zoo, but how often do you actually play with or read to your kids every day? How someone should or shouldn’t have shot a gorilla, but how important are your babies to you? And do you even fight for animal rights in your life anyways? Is it even relevant to your life? Whether someone is too skinny or fat, or wearing an outfit we don’t approve of, but when was the last time you talked about the word of the day after church? Whether a dress is gold or blue, but when was the last time you offered a helping hand? Whether people are white or black, but when was the last time you talked about or practiced unconditional love? Whether someone is or isn’t deserving of one of life’s blessing, but when was the last time you encouraged people to read the Bible? When was the last time you read scripture? Applied it to your life? When was the last time you went out of your way to help someone? Said “have a good day” to a stranger? When was the last time you went out of your way in your relationship to absolutely make the other person’s day? Volunteered? Helped a kid in need? When was the last time you complimented someone? My point is not that we shouldn’t have opinions. I believe opinions can be a great addition to the world. It was God’s opinion of Adam’s loneliness that led to the creation of Eve, which in my opinion is awesome. My point, you see, is that we should all take a look at what we are so opinionated on. What we are so inclined to verbalized, to put into the world. Because what we speak, write and do stays forever. And are we creating forevers that are worthy to exist? And remember, talking about someone else’s sin does not make yours disappear. __a.c.
It’s going to hurt like hell. Probably pains you’ve never experienced before. And the worst part about it isn’t that you feel them, but that you can’t take anything to help. That although they feel like physical pains. In your heart. Deep in the pit of your stomach. They’re not. It’s all mental. And you can’t take Tylenol to make a broken heart stop hurting. You can’t get a prescription to mend your broken world. You can’t hide away under your covers and expect it all to change. So brace yourself. Because it’s going to hurt like hell. That’s what they forget to tell you. But it doesn’t last forever. And it will get better. I promise. After the initial shock of your heartbreak. Of your failed plans. Of the disaster you’re going through. It. Will. Get. Better. But only when you pick yourself up from the confusion and the sadness. The anger. The disbelief. The lack of hope. Only when YOU pick yourself up from whatever is weighing you down and realize that in order for it to get better, YOU have to move forward. YOU have to remember the happy things. The love you still have for you and in you. The smiles, laughs, dreams. The ones you’re still capable of coming across in the future. In your future. In your beautiful, necessary life! It will get better and you are never alone in the feeling of it hurting like hell. And one day you’re going to be so mentally strong that no amount of destruction will make your world crumble again. You will discover parts of you you never even knew existed. Wonderful things about you that were waiting to emerge. You are going to learn how to firmly plant your feet on the ground. On the foundation of your beautiful life and you are going to make this world. Your world. So much more beautiful. And I thank you for that. __a.c.
I had it all figured out. My plan was set, ready to go. I was excited and ready to take on the world. And then slowly, piece by piece, goal by goal, it all fell apart. And I mean all of it. I failed at some, got distracted and forgot about others, and then somehow I found myself with nothing but a broken plan. Dreams never to come true. Not even a new plan to take its place. Just confusion. Frustration. Fear. How could all that planning. All that dreaming. All that work towards it end up with nothing to prove? Nothing to show. And then I realized it.
After much time had passed I finally realized it. I had something to prove. I hadn’t actually ended up with nothing. I hadn’t actually gone on living without a plan & I didn’t even realize it. Because it wasn’t my plan. I hadn’t been wandering around lost in the wilderness of this world. You see I actually ended up with what I needed. What God knew I needed. Strength. Perseverance. Hope. Faith. Love. Positivity. Patience. Understanding. I had all of these things surrounding me. But they didn’t just come to me. They didn’t just fall into my lap. I had to fight for them. I had to give it all I had to get them. And most of these. Most of these things I earned I never even factored into my original plan. College. Career. Money. That’s the plan, right? That’s how we’ll change the world, right? Make our parents proud? But all of those things are gone eventually. The careers end or make you unhappy. The money runs out or loses its value. And then what’s left?
And the ironic thing is, we never plan those things into our lives. We never pencil in strength and patience on our calendars & count down to the days we have left to reach them. And we need them. Boy do we need them.
You see, I had walked out unharmed, and actually stronger after the fire. After my plans came burning down. And that’s worth something. That proves something. That shows something. Because it’s the things you can’t frame that are worth displaying the most. __a.c.
The thought of most individuals when it comes to a relationship is that it needs to be a 100/100 matched effort. That makes sense, right? The only problem with it is that they think that 100/100 match effort only applies to a relationship of themselves WITH another individual. That’s the only relationship they apply it to. That’s the only relationship they set perfect match standards for. But what about the relationship we have with ourselves? See, we all plan goals, set goals, but often, we don’t reach those goals. We give up. We make excuses. Why is that? It’s because we don’t match ourselves. The part of us that caries out goals doesn’t match the part of us that plans and sets goals. That part of us falls short- and instead of holding that part of us accountable like we would another individual who doesn’t match our 100, we just accept it. Don’t accept it. Be in a 100/100 relationship with yourself. It’s extremely possible. And just like your 100/100 match relationship with someone else will make you happier, your 100/100 match relationship with yourself will, too. It will change your life. So give yourself 100%. Because you deserve it. __a.c.