Only In This Moment 

One day you’re going to wake up,And nobody’s going to be in your corner.

That’s not to say that everyone will be against you, but nobody will understand exactly how you feel. Nobody will see exactly what you’re going through. And you’re going to feel isolated. Alone. You’re going to feel the weight of the world directly on your shoulders. Pushing you down. And while you may not understand it yet. While you may think nothing could be worse. Nothing could be more terrible than being the only person in your corner. This is a truly great moment in your life. For it is in this time that you will change your life. It is in this time you’ll realize how important you are. How necessary it is to make certain changes to excel your life. To succeed at what you’ve been failing at. Falling short at achieving. You will break down to the very core of your being. You will literally feel it. It is in this time you will finally believe you are the only person you ever needed in your corner anyways. That you alone, with God, have what it takes to succeed. And you’ve had it all along. It’s in this moment of disparity that you will figure out your purpose. Your potential. That you will pass what you previously believed were your limits with a strength that had been waiting to come to life. So do not give up. Do not give in. Do not doubt the moment. Because only there will you discover what you’re made of. Only there. In the midst of your tragedy. Will you find your true meaning. And that is truly beautiful __a.c.

The Difference Isn’t What They Have. It’s How They Think. 

Imagine how different your life would be if the only thing you changed right now was your belief in yourself. If all you did today was say “I can do this.” If every time you had a doubt in your mind. Or someone else doubted you. If every time you said “I CAN do this!” “I AM going to get through this!” Imagine how much your life would change. It’s so incredible that all you have to do to change your life is change your mindset. That’s it! All you have to do to live the life you’ve imagined is believe in yourself. Encourage yourself. I don’t know what your purpose is but I do know that it’s a great one. And you’re so incredibly capable of living the life you’ve imagined. You see the difference between you and the people you think have everything. The people you strive to be like. The difference between isn’t what they have. It’s how they think. That’s the key. So go unlock your full potential. Because you absolutely deserve to. __a.c. 

Our Plan 

“This wasn’t supposed to be part of my plan.” “I never planned for this to happen.” “This was never my plan.” These are the phrases spoken by 100% of the population at some point in time. We hear it from everyone. We say it ourselves. Because we think our plans are actually ours to make. But there not! Our plans are not ours to plan. They’re ours to live! And that’s a very important distinction to understand. We did not create the universe. We did not create ourselves. We did not create our bodies or any of the things needed to sustain them. We did not create our purpose. Our passion. Our dreams. We have created nothing of which we think we should control! And yet we have created everything [what we do each day, how we react to what happens to us, our mindset, our way of thinking] of which we think we have no control of! How do you know? How do you know you weren’t supposed to face adversity in life? How do you know you weren’t supposed to face failure? Disappointment? How do you know you were supposed to have a perfect life? That everyone should always agree with you? Like you? How do you know you were never supposed to get knocked down? Sometimes over and over again? To be challenged in life? How do you know everything was supposed to be handed to you? That you were supposed to succeed at everything in life? You don’t! Because our plans is not ours to plan! It’s only ours to live! And just maybe the very things you want are located inside of the very situations you think shouldn’t be a part of your life. But you will never ever discover them if you continue to wake up each day and put blame on God. On your surroundings. On the people around you. On your lack of growth. God did not fill your heart sadness or your mind with doubt. He did not make you ungrateful. He did not place you in a position of failure and tell you that was your permanent home! He did not make you unwilling. God never placed you in a comfort zone and told you to stay forever! He did not place you in an unhappy relationship and tell you you can’t make it better! You did that to yourself! We do these things to ourselves day after day. And then all of a sudden a lifetime has passed us by and we have so very little to show for it. We all have the most amazing ability to wake up each day and change our circumstances. To better our situations. We were given life! That is so incredible. Each day we live is so incredible. So if you can be wise enough to understand that. If you can be brave enough to truly chase your dreams. If you can be focused enough to unlock your happiness. Well, you might just become limitless. You might just end up changing the world for the better. And you might just end up living the life you dream of. __a.c.

It Is Not Human

Love has not perfection. You cannot control love. All you can do is offer it a place to stay. Make up a cozy warm bed, brew it fresh coffee in the morning. Tell it to have a good day. Expect it home for dinner. But no matter how many bolts you lock on that door, love doesn’t always stay. It slips through the cracks while you have your back turned. And most of the time, you can’t even ask it where it’s going. You sit at the table with two cups of coffee only to pour one down the drain. No trace of it other than your routine. Which suddenly becomes the enemy. Or maybe you wake up to a note on your pillow, inflated from the lack of weight on it. Be back soon-Love. Maybe it’s even left you its next location. You empty out your rain boots filled with tears and head in its new direction. Love has not perfection. It is not human. It does not know how to be one. It does not conform to our ways. It doesn’t know the night from the day. It will take the best of you and the worst of you and mash it all together until you don’t know what’s left of you. It will send you flowers ever Sunday for a year and then out of nowhere, disappear. Those same bright sunflower petals wilting to the ground. It will call you beautiful. And mean it. Even as its wiping away the tears it caused. Love has not perfection. It will give and take and push and pull. It will take the heart you’ve never seen inside of your chest and hold it in its hands- learning every vein, every artery, every ounce of oxygen it pumps with each sweet beat. It will give you purpose. Meaning. It will cause you to question every truth you’ve ever known. It will abandon you. It will welcome you. It will seem unfamiliar at times and the point of home at others. It will hurt you and heal you all with the same powers. Love has not perfection. But Love has God. And with that, everything is possible. __a.c. 

Twenty Somethings

People think there’s only a certain time frame you have to get it all figured out. Your twenties is when you’re supposed to get it all together. Graduate college, start a career, get married, buy a house, start your family, blah, blah, blah. And that’s a lot to pack into a ten year span in general, but especially when it’s packed into the wrong decade. And until you actually reach your twenties, you think it’s all possible. You think it’s all going to fall in place. Just. Like. That. Your dreams are set up to achieve it all in your twenties and you don’t even realize that yet. You think that’s plenty of time to have it all accomplished. Ten years. Sounds plausible, right? Then why do we have a world filled with twenty somethings feeling like failures? Why do we we have an ever increasing amount of depressed twenty somethings? Why doesn’t that plan actually work? Because we forget that life happens. We forget that people, even grown people need love and support. They need to be uplifted instead of judged and put down. Maybe you don’t graduate college in four years. Maybe it takes six. Maybe law school or the graduate program you chose was completely wrong for you. Maybe you don’t land a dream career or even a career at all right out of college. Relationships fall apart. Financial problems. Student loans. Not enough money for a house. Bills. A baby. Maybe you or someone you love gets sick. It happens. Stuff happens. Life happens. You see, a lot is going to happen in your twenties. The whole span of your twenties. Every single one of those years is going to soak up this world. It’s going to build you up, push you down. You are going to laugh and cry and smile so much. You are going to face decision after decision. And YOU have to make them. You are going to have plan after unexpected plan because it’s probably not going to pan out like it’s “supposed to.” Because it’s not supposed to pan out in one certain way! So much happens in your twenties and they are such crucial, important years of your life. You’re going to discover yourself in your twenties like you’ve never discovered yourself before. And you shouldn’t spend your twenties feeling rushed, or like a failure. You should spend them feeling amazed, impressed. Excited about the person you’re discovering yourself to be! You should spend them learning how to overcome a situation, not feeling like you fell behind a line. You should spend them getting to know yourself and the world around you. The people around you. You should let them transform you into a beautiful, kind, loving person. Because as challenging as they will be, your twenties are amazing, magical, struggling, beautiful years. And you will never get these twenty something years back. But if you live them right. If you love them right. The rest of your years will thank you for them. And so will the rest of the world. __a.c. 

The Plan.

I had it all figured out. My plan was set, ready to go. I was excited and ready to take on the world. And then slowly, piece by piece, goal by goal, it all fell apart. And I mean all of it. I failed at some, got distracted and forgot about others, and then somehow I found myself with nothing but a broken plan. Dreams never to come true. Not even a new plan to take its place. Just confusion. Frustration. Fear. How could all that planning. All that dreaming. All that work towards it end up with nothing to prove? Nothing to show. And then I realized it. 

After much time had passed I finally realized it. I had something to prove. I hadn’t actually ended up with nothing. I hadn’t actually gone on living without a plan & I didn’t even realize it. Because it wasn’t my plan. I hadn’t been wandering around lost in the wilderness of this world. You see I actually ended up with what I needed. What God knew I needed. Strength. Perseverance. Hope. Faith. Love. Positivity. Patience. Understanding. I had all of these things surrounding me. But they didn’t just come to me. They didn’t just fall into my lap. I had to fight for them. I had to give it all I had to get them. And most of these. Most of these things I earned I never even factored into my original plan. College. Career. Money. That’s the plan, right? That’s how we’ll change the world, right? Make our parents proud? But all of those things are gone eventually. The careers end or make you unhappy. The money runs out or loses its value. And then what’s left?  

And the ironic thing is, we never plan those things into our lives. We never pencil in strength and patience on our calendars & count down to the days we have left to reach them. And we need them. Boy do we need them. 

You see, I had walked out unharmed, and actually stronger after the fire. After my plans came burning down. And that’s worth something. That proves something. That shows something. Because it’s the things you can’t frame that are worth displaying the most. __a.c. 

My Cup of Faith

I wake up, check on my 9 month old son and then first thing I think about is coffee. Every morning without skipping a beat. My first thought goes to coffee. A warm, lightly dark cup of perfect coffee. Before I can actually have the warm cup of pure goodness in my hand I first have to get up, put my contacts in, brush my teeth, pee, change Ayden’s diaper & play with him for a few minutes. (Afterall, he does come first.) Then I have to walk downstairs, put Ayden in his playpen, make the coffee if it’s not already made, get a cup, put two packs of sweet-n-low and coconut milk in it and then pour the cup. But I don’t think about all that. I don’t think about what my day will look like- diaper changes, cleaning up inevitable puke and baby food, two minute showers because apparently Ayden doesn’t think I need a longer one than that, work, errands, nap times, laundry, reading, bills, writing, traffic, etc. 

All I think about is that warm cup of coffee. And it’s enough to get me through the entire day. It’s enough to get me through the routine, which varies day by day. It’s a comforting, necessary, consistent. 
That’s what faith is. 
You have to work at it to have it every day- some days more than others. But once you have it in your hands, no matter what lies ahead of your day, you’ll get through it. You’ll be able to look back at each point in your day and night, and be comforted because you have it today, and you’ll have it tomorrow, too. It’s like an anchor in your day. The sea may rock and roll your ship, but you best believe you aren’t going overboard. It wants your soul, puts a smile on your face, and helps you over every obstacle you’ll face- because you are going to face obstacles. We all do. 
So maybe it’s not the cup of coffee afterall that gets me through the days. But it sure does help. __a.c.